HUNTING fest

have been staring at the empty post for almost an hour. Hunting fest. It should be a delighting post. But... i just don't have the mood to make it cheerful and delighting... what have i been doing? it is semester break. the 'enjoyable' season where i have nothing to do, fully relax, and.... get emo!

it is the 12th day where im home. Pig- this is the only word that comes into my mind, fit exactly with myself. With the extra sense of sensitivity in me, it's truly hard for me to survive through relaxing moments. oh right, what have i done? NOTHING! i can tell you... NOTHING AT ALL! except sleep-eat-sleep-tv-sleep-shopping-sleep-online-sleep.....and sadly, nothing else... wanna jog, no energy to wake up; wanna read, cant start the engine; wanna draw, no mood; wanna yam cha, lazy; wanna design... hmm.. this one got lo... and...yea..nothing else.

i sensed the change. and it linked everything back to the old story, bringing back the old memories, which is being locked at the inner part of the memory folder, the brain keeps urging it to be deleted... but the heart is just too soft to do it. i wished that i can burst everything out, as how i wan to be... but the broken pieces left, may be too hurtful to handle. Classic, i choose to ignore... but, classic... i just cant...

it's annoying, that i dreamed something i shouldnt have. A sweet dream indeed, but i drags me from heaven back to the hell once i am perfectly awake. sobbing followed. what to do? it's not something i can control.

think of distracting myself. MSN? expecting more, dissapointing more. 'hahahaha', 'hehehehe', 'LOL'... im not laughing pun. Who noes?! a fake world for a fake hope. BLOG? no comments, no feedbacks, sien... why so different? ppl emo i emo, ppl got tons of comments but i got ntg... lengzai lenglui more comment? i duno....

So, go shopping will be a better idea. back to the title, hunting fest. year-end-sale, super good season for shopping maniac. went Queensbay yesterday. SALES SALES SALES and SALES... sigh...but with no shopping luck, got only a pair of ear rings from Vince. ok la... at least something. today, i-hate-shopping punya daddy kisiao, suggested to go Jusco. Good one. this time, i got two blauses. one from VSG, and one from jusco. sales like crazy, we shop like crazy.

feeling can be ignored, heart can be numbed. sendiri pasal sendiri tau... Again, emotion follows behind relaxation. the same feeling overwhelmed me, over and over again...when the silent falls. tears fused into the pillow, into the dream....

days go on and on... repeating with the same rythmic....
6 days more, before going back to my usual bz lifestyle.
and,
4 days more, before i hit my own target....to let go...
close the eyes, cross the hand, and wish for the best....

the title of the post should be changed
FALL IN THE OLD TUNNEL...