空

空谈空想空缺空虚空荡荡...

又是一篇突发奇想。


最近很爱一个人赖在家，窝在房间；
一件宽松T恤一件短裤轻松自在无拘无束；
高兴就对着镜子翩翩起舞上网聊天；
不高兴就仰身躺在床上用枕头捂住耳朵眼睛嘴巴鼻子；
肚子饿了到厨房弄点吃的再不然咖啡可可冻饮料外卖过一餐；
有拼劲儿就边连戏剧边面子书通宵达旦赶作业；
反之就一把赖在客厅躺在沙发对着电视发呆等天亮。

倦了必须去面对种种的是是非非与残酷现实
发现自己外在越是装横得华丽内心越是显得空虚忧郁。
最近身边发生的种种事故都一一指向了，样貌，是多么的有影响力。
我？
还是回归鸵鸟主义，活在自己的知足世界里，告诉自己有多幸福，算了。

silent romance...

i love u...

每逢佳节倍思亲...

it's heart warming enough to find these lovely notes sticking all over my room when i got home today

oh gosh....my sis is sweet...T.T
but all these make me miss her even more..





happy holiday, dear~

Fabricsfeverisburningagainandmoneyisspentoutofnowhere...isittherightplacetoinvest?...
lotsahandmadecrafterhavestartedtheirfulltimecraftingcarrier...ifeelenvytobehonest...
tobecomeabrandowenerisrathertougherforunconfidentpeoplelikeme...whycantijusttrustmyself..
whyitendtorelysomuchonwhattheotherssaidbutnotwhat-I-say..
whathappenedonfridayisawfulandit'ssonotme!...opencritiquestartskillingtheinnerme...
ireallyneedtocopewithitoriwillstartburryingmyselfunderdeepestdepressagain....
someoneplspullmeoutofthejunkofnegativethoughtsandfeelings?!
iwishicancryitoutloudandstandingupofitagain..beingnegativeainthelpingatall...BUTHOW?
Haiz...isighedagain...

Forthosewhoeverbothertoreadintothejunkofwords,iwouldsayWOW,butsorryforbringinginbadfeelings...
dunworry...byspeakingitoutandcryingitloud...iwillbeabletostanduponceagain,verysoonipromise...
theburningartspiritisstillfullinme
L.O.L


forme,itstandsforLotsOfLove~

i need somebody...

人生总是充满变数，也总让人措手不及...

assignments 24/7

im just one person

EARTH HOUR. huh, what an amazing event~
i ve been looking forward to this for quite some times, since this is the 1st earth hour in msia.
ISHNESS, hampir semua orang dah balik kampung dah.... -.=''' the original plan [actually we dun have much plans =P] doesnt work out, ended up, im still being trapped in sunway. *sobs...*

yuhooo, finally im done with my figure final. ONE MORE TO GOOO!! =)
it's truly tired working throughout days and night, huhh.... finally i can let my hair down for few hours. Taken nap till 8pm, so glad that i received a sms from Neo, asking me to have a walk at sunway pyramid during the earth hour. huhhh.... a sudden feel of relief, knowing that im not alone....

dad called, saying that they are having candle party at the garage.
T___T truly hope that im with them right now....

amazing, 8tv joined us as well~

all right, the whole house is in dark now. Kind of shocking to know that the @#*(*&^ landlady do her parts in switching off the lights too.... i can only say, WOW... o.O


slap self for my own laziness, i din bring out my camera... aiks, but my hp cam is still able to capture the darkness, just that with poor quality. ah, dun bother lah, the day has been messed up completely...
sunway pyramid is in dark and almost everyone holding candles, some with glowing in dark stuffs. heartwarming enough! but...hmm, honestly, im hoping for darker environment... just like other countries, with all the street lights, EVERY LIGHTS off! kind of impossible i know. sigh, this is malaysia.

there are some performance at the centre main entrance. cool band~

love the candle-in-coconut deco~~ aikss, i wan my cam!!

Say HI again to the light by 930!~

8tv Quickle described the earth hour in kl and this is how KLCC look like in the dark. woww, FANTASTIC man!!! aiks, truly hope that i can view that through my own eyes...




one more final to go, one more week to go..!
aiksss....
im having serious emotional imbalance right now...
ish, hate so much to know that im the only one left behind..
i miss my friends.... T__T




p/s, happy belated birthday my darling hui!! =)

STOP, please...

hell enough,
ve done NOTHING for the day,
dun feel like doing, at the first point,
and i seriously cant manage myself to stay focus with those irritating gases enjoying-themselves-having-lotsafun-and-party inside my stomach... ISH TO THE MAX!
10th times of diarrhoea, even more serious than the first day...
damn it...
WHATS THE HELL WRONG WITH ME?!
this is not food poisoning! but, what else?!
grhhh....
perut masuk angin shouldnt be that serious ba.....

aiks,
please just stop, before i have to carry myself to the bloody clinic and get my red notes burnt in one shot...

WEI....
what ve i done to deserve such a bad luck lately ah?!

all right,
after a whole night lying on the bed, staring at the tv, aimlessly changing channels, watching through few terrible movies with my mind wandering,
i ve decided to sign in my msn seeking may be for some attention, and YEA, i bump into this stupid surprise!
my contact list is BLANK! with only 4 contacts... -.='''
i noe i dun bother to sign in frequently, but u dun have to treat me back in this way....
SHOCKING enough, but this is not my first time facing this... aiks....please recover soon, or i will delete u permanently from my computer! I SWEAR!



ISH ISH ISHHHHHHH!

striking

it is the 6th time of diarrhoea
everything has turned colourless, but my stomach just won stop aching...
Vomited my lunch out, together with the small little pills..
ishness, even medicine cannot be digested...
am rushing for assignments,
but i ve done NOTHING for the day....
and now
the heat start overwhelming...
fever is coming

oh gosh...
my stomach is striking...
for?


sigh...

今天情人节

dot....dot.....dot.....
and....
dots........



10am, figure class as usual. Done 2 sessions of life sketching. aiks... my drawing speed is still damn damn slow and my life sketching is way awful. Ish! gotta buck up my skill...

B+ and a star for my previous figure sketching is my only valentine present. hmm.... delighting though, but it's still not cheerful enough to content my empty heart.

sigh....





Lots of surprises happened after class... felt happy for my friends, of course!...
but...wonder why, the hole inside my heart, start aching more dully...

realising that, im alone...

waiting for the others to join, i loiter blindly...
one hour turned up to be bloodily long,
today........

they are finally here. Got to noe 2 friends of HW- Janson and Chiaming. nice friends indeed!
Headed to Redbox. 3hours , sing everything out. hmmph... felt better, i suppose.
delicious couple set... hmmm...



classic,
got myself chocolate peppermint snow blended bubble tea at asian avenue.
am in love with it...


sorry bout the randomness...

grh...
am sick of pretending, and keep distracting myself...
i thought, it will be okay...but
everything just dont work out nicely.
ended up being overwhelmed by loneliness once i got home...
ish to the max!
i hate, i hate, i hate...

YOU! get out of my heart!
...



sorry...just let me be...


Cheer for WSO,
Cheer for the singles....

ahh...how come it sounds so fake to me...




我不是你想像那麽勇敢
多想让你保护能流泪一场
让我放下武装 像个孩子一样
单纯的把爱情放在你心上

我不是你想像总是扮演坚强
多想让你知道我也要个伴
放下讨厌武装 像个孩子一样
单纯的把爱情放在你心上
我不是你想像的那麽勇敢
___梁文音。我不是你想象那么勇敢

freeDOOM

it WAS 4am, when i headed to bed happily, with my FREEDOM done, yesterday night.

and

it IS 4am...
when i finally FINISH REDOING...
gosh... memang soooi....
truly thanks xiao qing for reminding me about the main requirement of the project~ MINIMALISM!
arghhhh....how come i can miss out such an important point!
*slap*

sighed gao gao...
glad that the final outcome turns up to be kind of satisfying...
or else i will surely go and bang the wall...



here it goes~
it's FREEDOM, not FREEDOOM!
the concept behind is to portray the negative perspective of freedom. u may gain freedom through commit suicide, escaping from all the suffers and pains. However, u are not FREEING UR HEART, only ur soul...
and it's NOT freedom...
medium~ marker, acrylic, die cut






realising that this is the 9th of chinese new year...
which means that semua orang sedang BAI TI KONG kat hometown...
sighed... feel so lonely suddenly...
每逢佳节陪思亲啊...




p/s, someone tells me that my EQ is high. WHY? coz, im Emo Queen... -.='''

r@ndom

hmm... it has been days since i have my last post. True. nothing special happened theses days. Classes, assignments and days just go on with the same rhythm.what to post this time then?
well.... nothing. im here, just to keep my name on the top of others' blog lists. =P *crap enuf*

Emotion's under control, but still overwhelming sometimes. Realizing that, my life has again fallen back to the original routine,when im here 6 months ago, without any familiar faces, trying damn hard to get myself used to the new environment, and do whatever i can to distract my complicated mind and overwhelming loneliness. sighed.
and NOW, with lots of familiar faces, though, everything turns back to the original spot where i have to start getting myself another batch of new close friends and having to act not really according to my own instincts in this stage of observing. yep. m not NATURAL. sigh sigh sigh, and sighed again.

5 more days, and i will be back to my lovely hometown. Truly looking forward for the holiday this time.

Well, there's something i want to highlight. DON'T EVER JUDGE ME BASED MERELY ON BLOGS! Emo blogs don't really mean that IM emotional. It's just my OWN WAY to release all my inner feelings , burst out doubts and thoughts. There are ups and downs in every one's life. Some people can deal with the downs very easily, BUT it does not mean the SAME THEORY can be applied on EVERYONE! "haiyo...emo again... u ah, dun like this larh...think this way and this way" PLEASE, stop all that if u dont feel like consoling! it's not helping at all!
According to the professionals , it's pretty 'dangerous' when u try to give advices when someone's upset. you may hurt them more very easily. Stop judging the person with ur own point of view. What he/she need will just be ur patient listening ,true understanding and of course, standing by their sides.

sorry for being abit over. Im just being disappointed with someone lately.
''you noe almost everything about me, yet... you dun seem understand me at all....''

hmm. An old habit turns on me again lately. I tend to loiter in Pyramid for at least one hour everyday before heading home. It's truly annoying when i waste my time just like that. Ish... My self discipline doesnt really work out when im lazeeee....

dun worry, im not emo.
okay, switch abit. there's some delighting stuffs as well.

Met up with few old friends lately.
the first one. OH MY.... kaixuan's studying here! got to know about this from CS. gosh... I met him once in mingtian and we chatted a bit. Well, i think most of us are just curious why he starts his studies that late. hmm, his original plan is to get musical course at Taiwan. He dun really explain it through, but according to his brief description, some arguments and some complicate stuffs dragged him late. But at least he's here. congrats and all the best!!~

Im doing some research in popular yesterday, after class. To my surprise, i saw Elsie! i called her name. She's shocked, and so am i. She's not alone,but with the whole gang of IMU course mates. Jiapei, and hongmin are there as well!! whoww... It's truly delighting. Upon JPA scholarship, they are heading Aust next year. All the best, our future pharmacist as well as the proudness of Jitsin!~ I'll miss u all!~

have been relaxing for two days. It's time for assignment.
end of the randomness.

full stop.

累

not the first time, though. STILL, it's not easy traveling alone, both physically and mentally....

woke up at 9, teman-ed my sis before she went for work-read magazine-sleep back-woke up-took bath-had lunch..... owh...and it's time to leave.....

Again, i have to fight against my own emotion, stopping tears from coming out under such an awkward condition. Good. i did it. Not the first time departing, still, the 不舍 feeling is still overwhelming. Well, as usual, my just-updated mp3 and the continued-EdwardBella-vampire-love Eclipse accompanied me through the 4-hour-long journey. God bless, the time passes damn fast and i reached pudu by 7. Owh, god bless again, rain has just stopped, i guess?

Being alone on the bus is not the toughest after all. Here goes the hardest part. Of course i noe, my size's not small, though. Still, the luggage is a bit overloaded for a girl. *hoping for a gentleman* I headed back to the station to get ticket for CNY. [owh, peak season. gotta grab it asap]. Got one for myself by Transnational, 24th,6pm ; and another for eleen, Srimaju, 23th,10.30am. Carrying the stupid luggage here and there, asking for price and time, enuf to strain my muscle to the max. Ush.... i hate pudu!

So, mission accomplished! is time to go back sunway.

'Hugging' [carrying with one hand seemed to be an impossible now] the stupid luggage, i headed for metrobus. Thanks god, i got an empty seat and shit, another dilemma. Should i just acted selfishly to sit at one, and put my huge luggage on another? NOWAY! so, i have no choice, but to put the luggage together with my backpack, on my leg... *ouch!*....

Finally, im homed by 830... tangan hampir patah....T.T

Luck's on my side. Noone's at home. [ahaa...i guess u noe what i mean.]... Exhausted though. but i knew that i cant stop right now. or else, it will be an imposible for me to move again. Called my parents and some frens, 报平安~ and back to work again. Sweep the floor-mop-clean every piece thoroughly[waseh, banyak habuk niii....]-wash laundry... it's 1130 when i am done. phewww... took shower, and finally i can sit down, have my 'dinner' and type this.

啃着妈妈细心准备的便当，情绪再度沸腾，眼泪也差点夺眶...
it takes time for me to adapt the change.
一个人的夜晚，还是那么的难熬...

Body's tired like hell, but brain's still functioning damn perfectly. On msn, chatted abit... Ck called, waseh....talk talk talk... and it's 3 when i hang up the phone. Only i realised, im tired like hell.... headed to bed...

一个字，累!



等.下一个天亮